Pregnancy drives physical, emotional and relationship changes to take place. Some of these are welcoming and exhilarating, others may be more daunting, anxiety provoking and exacerbate feelings of sadness and loss. These feelings are all normal and valid. One is for sure, there will be plenty of well-meaning advice from books, colleagues, friends, family and even strangers that we need to navigate. These sources of wisdom can challenge us and give us the impression that there is a correct way of feeling, being pregnant and being a parent. The well-meaning phrase “just follow your instinct” seems relatively straightforward, yet, most of us experience pregnancy only a few times in our life, so it can be difficult to know how to use our instinct – sometimes this “instinct” seems completely silent!

This is where I love drawing on the work of Paul Gilbert and Michelle Cree from the Compassionate Mind Foundation. The compassionate approach teaches us ways to allow these feelings to stay with us, not push them away, but embrace them and understand them so that our actions are not driven from fear but from our compassionate understanding of our own feelings and experiences. Sometimes we can do this alone, but at other times, we need the support, compassion and guidance of others.